Once a year, I pimp myself out so that I may one day achieve my lifelong goal of being a fat artist. Starving is for assholes, so I’ll work a real job in the meantime.

Perhaps one of you out there has a connection that I don’t, and wants me to owe them a huge favor (I will blow ANYONE, even you there with the strange corndick.)

All you have to do is put my longer than 140 creative output in the hands of someone who can eventually lead me to luxury, getting fatter and fatter and artier and artier until I am the fartiest fartist around.

Here are direct links to my work thus far (in downloadable pdf format via mac filesharing):

1. Dark comedy about a man who reluctantly inherits a porn shop, then falls for the woman aiming to shut the shop down.                                        GOODMAN: files.me.com/awryone/dbtcen
2. Feature-length screenplay about a guy who falls into the middle of a murder investigation while trying to quit smoking. Dark romantic comedy. PATCHWORK: files.me.com/awryone/7yr5hb
3. Children’s story about fitting in. My kids love it, but they’re crazy and malnourished.                                                                                                              SQUIRREL: files.me.com/awryone/q4i23z

If anyone can lend a hand, I will always have a hand to lend (and mouth - NO ANAL.)

Josh