awryonetumbld

Mar 05

[video]

Mar 04

[video]

Feb 27

Amazon is now selling the most darling babies!

Amazon is now selling the most darling babies!

Feb 17

3,928

When I joined Twitter on March 30th, 2007, I had a handful of followers (all of whom were friends, who had been on Twitter longer than that, who followed me back).

I remember my doubting wife saying, “If that stupid site ever goes anywhere and you end up with a bunch of followers - I’ll blow you.”

I then inquired “how many is a bunch?”

She replied sarcastically, “4000.”

4000, people.

4000.

Feb 16

[video]

Jan 15

No, no … don’t worry about me, I can wait. You go ahead and eat, fatty.

No, no … don’t worry about me, I can wait. You go ahead and eat, fatty.

Jan 08

Tell me again about the time you were arrested for selling PCP to a baby? Please, dad?!?

Tell me again about the time you were arrested for selling PCP to a baby? Please, dad?!?

Dec 25

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE MAKING ME WEAR THIS THING, ASSDAD.

I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE MAKING ME WEAR THIS THING, ASSDAD.

PLEASE USE THE DELICATES CYCLE.

PLEASE USE THE DELICATES CYCLE.

Dec 23

Mmm.
Rat pizza.

Mmm. Rat pizza.